Feast of the Beast 2012

I have returned from the seventh annual Babalon Rising festival, although not entirely to consensus reality.  The real magic of the festival can be measured, imho, by the "everyone knows everyone else" kind of small-town experimental feel of the event.

Those that were at the festival know that I could never possibly cover everything that happened.  Even if I wanted to try, there was simply too much happening at the same time.  Therefore, I have decided this year to give a behind-the-scene look at the workings of the Feast of the Beast ritual, which I wrote and directed this year.

Here is the script...

Feast of the Beast
2012 Ritual

The Magician and stands facing the crowd. The HGA is hidden next to her under a black cloth. The Tree of Life BABALONS are off field in hiding.

Magician - Thee I invoke, the Bornless one!
Thee, that didst create the Earth and the Heavens:
Thee, that didst create the Night and the day!
Thee, that didst create the darkness and the Light!

HGA – (casts off cloth and stands facing the Magician. He holds the cup of BABALON.) I answer you, oh self of myself!

Magician – Assist me then to call forth the seven faces of BABALON!
Even now thy hour strikes upon the clock of my FATHER.
For He prepared a banquet and a Bridal Bed. BABALON was that Bride, appointed from the beginning, as it was written IO PAN!
Now is the hour of birth at hand.
Thy tears, thy sweat, thy blood, thy semen, thy love, thy faith shall provide.
I shall drain thee like the cup that is of BABALON. (The Magician and the HGA embrace and begin to chant:)

BABALON!
BABALON!
(They become louder and break apart chanting in a frenzy)
BABALON!
BABALON!

The BABALONS of the Tree of Life enter and are arranged in the pattern of the Sepheroth of the Tree on the field facing the Magician. The Magician and the HGA continue to chant as the BABALONS move into position. If the crowd is chanting along, the HGA now loudly calls for silence. The HGA takes the Magician by the hand and they walk to BABALON in Malkuth.

BABALON in Malkuth – I am the gate of Malkuth, the first face of BABALON. I offer forth this crown to you. (Malkuth removes her crown and places it into the cup. The Magician and the HGA walk over to Yesod.)

BABALON in Yesod – I am the gate of Yesod, the second face of BABALON. I offer forth these earrings to you. (Yesod removes her earrings and places them into the cup. The Magician and the HGA walk over to Hod.)

BABALON in Hod – I am the gate of Hod, the third face of BABALON. I offer forth this necklace to you. (Hod removes her necklace and places it into the cup. The Magician and the HGA walk over to Netzach.)

BABALON in Netzach – I am the gate of Netzach, the fourth face of BABALON. I offer forth these ornaments of the breast to you. (Netzach removes her breast ornaments and places them into the cup. The Magician and the HGA walk over to Tiphereth.)

BABALON in Tiphereth – I am the gate of Tiphereth, the fifth face of BABALON. I offer forth this girdle of birthstones to you. (Tiphereth removes her girdle and places it into the cup. The Magician and the HGA walk over to Gevurah.)

BABALON in Gevurah – I am the gate of Gevurah, the sixth face of BABALON. I offer forth these claps of the hands and feet to you. (Gevurah removes her claps and places them into the cup. The Magician and the HGA walk over to Chesed.)

Magician – Where is the seventh gate? Where is BABALON before the Abyss?

HGA – You are gate of Chesed, but first you must sacrifice to BABALON. (He bows before her and offers up the chalice.)

Magician - I am the gate of Chesed, the seventh face of BABALON. I offer forth this loincloth to you. (The Magician removes her loincloth and places it into the cup. The HGA rises and they embrace and kiss. She takes the cup and Magician proclaims:) I AM BABALON! (Everyone cheers) Soon we will enter the Abyss & our HGA will abandon us. (Gestures to her HGA. An assistant brings the Star of Babalon to the Magician and the HGA, together they light the Star.) Yet, there is no need to fear the Unknown ahead for soon we will be in the City of Pyramids and I WILL RISE! (More cheering. The Magician/BABALON takes the flaming Star around the fire for all to see. The BABALONS of the Tree of Life follow her parading in a circle with her. As the Magican/BABALON does this she proclaims:) Before we may enter the City of Pyramids we must abandon all things. Send your banishments into the effigy, that they may be consumed by fire! (As she finishes her circle, she thrusts the flaming Star into the wood pile, igniting the fire. More cheering.) Now go forth, and take your fill and Will of Love!

Not bad, if I do say so myself.   Now, what I had not expected was that the seven Babalons of the ritual, along with myself, would bond on such a fundamental level this year during rehearsal.  As vessels of Babalon at this ritual we have shared a special energy and sacred charge.  We have formed a kind of sisterhood.  One of the Babalons joked through tears that she was grateful for this, the sorority that had finally accepted her.  I think we all felt that way -- like we had found our sisters.

...for BABALON!

I'll be leaving for this year's Babalon Rising festival in just two scant days.  This is the seventh year of the festival.  As a founder, I feel odd that seven years has went by so quickly.  This is the second year that I will not be playing a role in the Feast of the Beast ritual, which was my decision.  This year we have asked all of the representatives of Babalon from previous years to participate, and even though I was Babalon in year one, I just wasn't feeling it this year.  Babalon is a Goddess of sacrifice, and I've given a lot in her service.  I even wrote this year's Feast of the Beast ritual, with some input from friends and fellow devotees of the Mother of Abominations.

Serving Babalon in the capacity of a festival founder and coordinator has been a great honor and a constant learning experience for me.  She really does demand every last drop of what we have to give, and what we give is transformed and returned to us from her Grail in ways we could not imagine.

I thought this might be a good chance to direct my followers to some of my older posts, all of them my own poetic meditations on Babalon.

Red Babalon (Babs as the Great Whore)
Blue Babalon (Babs as the Eternal Virgin)
Black Babalon (Babs as the Bride of Chaos -- my favorite of the bunch)

If you are planning on going to the festival this year, stop by the Black Market vending booth and say hello.  I'll be there offering Tarot readings, wares from Blade and Broom Botanica, and friendly advice for those who aren't sure what to make of a Thelemic/Voodoo/Chaos Magic/Sex Magic festival.

Decompression

Another Babalon Rising festival is in the books, and my life is beginning to show signs of what those in consensus reality would call normalcy.  Babalon Rising, for those that haven't heard, is an annual four day occult festival dreamed up by yours truly and some of my closest cohorts.

This was officially my "year off" for the festival. Meaning, instead of running around all day and half of the night like a manic trying to herd Thelemites (much worse than herding cats, I can assure you) I actually was able to attend portions of the festival and even sleep in.

So what did I do with my precious time?  I served as a sounding board for my friends who needed space to vent, I ran the Qabalah Bar (a tradition at Babalon Rising; someone nude is painted as the Tree of Life and shots corresponding with each of the sepheroth are mixed and then imbibed as body shots from the living "tree") and I got ridden hard at a New Orleans voodoo ritual to Manman Brigette.  I don't think I've ever been possessed quite so completely before. I have (nearly) no recollection of what occurred during my time as a horse (save the odd image of a little white boy's bare butt covered in fishnets and bouncing to the beat of the drums -- it's funny what the Gods will let through!)

I got to ride around French Lick, Indiana with the legendary and notorious magicians Lon Milo DuQuette and Donald Michael Kraig. That's one for the bucket list.  By the grace and wisdom of my spiritual sister Magdelyn M. I got to help begin working the New Aeon work of the Cup and the Paten.  I had the stunning realization that, in a small way, I am helping to shape the history of occultism in America, something I love very much and am humbled by.

In this year's Feast of the Beast ritual I invoked Hadit, the master magician. It is a good archetype for me to be working with, as much progress has been made since then on my other blog.  Thus far I have held the FoB roles of: Babalon, Nuit, Baphomet (best costume EVER), a Maenad, a Scarlet Woman, and now Hadit.  Next year is our seventh year and I plan to serve as Babalon once again.

My profound thanks and agape go out to everyone who participated in this year's festival.  The energy was astonishing. After performing the opening Star Ruby ritual I was so overcome I could barely walk, and that was just day one.  Thank you sisters and brothers. 93!

Creating the Women's Goddess Retreat

I wrote previously about my experience of running the Babalon Rising festival for its fifth year. I compared it to a child, grown beyond the scope of my own dreams. It has become something that the community it spawned needs and shapes. Let me then speak of my other child, not yet two years old and only just now developing into what it can be. I am referring to the annual Women's Goddess Retreat, an event that I am very proud to have birthed, and that changed me in ways I never thought possible.

The retreat started as a vision. It came from Hera, who I had no prior working relationship with. I'd read an interview with Tina Fey about her film Mean Girls and the book that inspired it, Queen Bees and Wannabes. It had occurred to me that communities, especially religiously motivated communities thrived only when the women in them worked together to build a place they were spiritually, emotionally, and physically invested in. I had been disheartened by the cliquish gossiping that was going on at my own spiritual home, Our Haven Nature Sanctuary, and I knew that I was as responsible as anyone for the present female animosity there.

My friend Anita, who has always been a great guiding force of growth in my life, had loaned me a book about women on retreat, The Woman's Retreat Book by Jennifer Louden. This book made me hungry -- jealously starving -- for a retreat of my own. I fantasized about a week alone at Crescent Beach, FL with time to write and paint and nap. I told myself that if I could just get away that I'd find the next step on my spiritual journey, and that, like magic, I'd suddenly know exactly what I wanted from my life. No one ever accused me of being an entirely rational creature.

And then Hera showed up. She came in a vision requesting, no, demanding that I put together a women's retreat in her honor. I hadn't really considered the idea of a group retreat before. How could I do the very self-involved navel-gazing that I dreamed of when I was facilitating a group of other women? And what would a retreat centered around Hera look like anyway? I imagined a group of ladies lounging by a pool, fanning themselves with peacock feathers.

Again, Anita had a solution. The retreat would honor Hera, yes, but it would also honor other Goddesses from different cultures around the world. I pinned the number at thirteen Goddesses, for the thirteen lunar cycles of the year. We would hold a circle for each Goddess, during which we would learn a little about Her mythology and worship. We would then invoke that Goddess and share in an activity together designed to teach us a life lesson that Goddess shared. I set the circles at two hours each, and determined that each woman would receive a journal to record her experiences in. This was as much for myself as anyone -- I wanted time to do my share of navel-gazing, after all!

Anita and Laurelei helped me flesh out the group of thirteen. The Goddesses we held circles for were:

• Shakti ~ The Lessons of Inner Awareness, & Healing Ourselves
• Diana ~ The Lessons of Owning your Power, & Finding Inner Strength
• Hera ~ The Lessons of Dignity, Friendship, & Trust
• Pele ~ The Lessons of Tending the Sacred Fire & Staying Centered
• Gaia ~ The Lessons of Interconnectedness & Being Present
• Aphrodite ~ The Lessons of True Beauty & Self-Love
• Babalon ~ The Lessons of Sexual Freedom & Bottomless Love
• Hathor ~ The Lessons of Celebration & Sacred Movement
• Inanna ~ The Lessons of the Shadow-Self & Initiation
• Brigid ~ The Lessons of Mythic Resonance & Bardic Magick
• The Triple Goddess ~ The Lessons of Women's Cycles & Change
• Sophia ~ The Lessons of Inner Wisdom & The Powers of The Sphinx
• The Great Goddess ~ The Lesson of the Charge of the Goddess

Anita couldn't make it to the actual retreat, so we asked a handful of trusted friends to help present the circles for a few select Goddesses. Gina, our Firepanther, shared Pele's fire with us. Terri, Cricket to her friends, lead us on a mind-expanding trip around Gaia. My beloved friend Mary "Hummingbird" lead a moving circle to Brigid. The remaining Goddesses Laurelei and I divided up to share. Laurelei introduced us to Shakti through the use of mudras to move energy. When we began the yoni mudra our stories began to pour forth along with tears and laughter. If I had any doubts that we wouldn't be doing real internal soul work, they were quickly set aside. Under Laurelei's guidance Diana gave us each our own spiritual weapon of power. She taught us to see how beautiful we are when we share our smile and our love through Aphrodite's mirror. We danced a graceful and joyful circle for Hathor.

I lead circles for Hera, Babalon, Inanna, The Triple Goddess, and Sophia. Hera taught us the lesson that inspired the retreat, how to trust each other. Babalon's sexy energy had us all laughing and purring. I wrote an involved guided meditation for Inanna that lead each of us to embrace our shadow-self, while Laurelei gave us a Jungian tour through the Heroine's Journey. The Triple Goddess came out in full force, and seems to be the guiding presence for the upcoming retreat for this year. Sophia shared with us the powers to Know, to Will, to Dare, and to Keep Silent through a silent portion of the retreat.

Laurelei and I built a shrine in the woods for the Great Goddess. Our circle chanted "Ancient Mother" as women went in pairs to visit the shrine and meet the Great Goddess. When Laurelei and I had our turn we wept for joy and wonder, in spite of the fact that we knew exactly what the "mystery" of the shrine was -- we had placed it there ourselves, after all.

After the retreat I continued to use my journal daily until it was full. It got me writing again, in a way I haven't done in years. My writing inspired me to begin a book, Under Her Aegis, which I am still working on. My writing also lead me to understand my passions, and brought me to a place where I knew I wanted to be a librarian. It even inspired me to start this blog. I felt, after the retreat, as if I had brought something useful and necessary into this world. For the first time in my life I felt like a mother rather than a maiden. I will have no biological children of my own, and this transition was remarkable for me.

This year the Women's Goddess Retreat is changing its form. There are fewer Goddess circles and more time for personal reflection. There are also many rituals designed as rites of passage for several of the women in attendance. These women came forward independently of their own accord asking for rites of croning for themselves, and rites of womaning for their daughters. We are blessed this year with three croning ceremonies and one womaning rite. The retreat is becoming what I hoped it might be, a place for our community of women to come together and work with a common spirit.

The Goddesses for this year are:

• Hestia ~ The Lessons of Finding Sacred Space & Returning Home
• Grandmother ~ The Lessons of Inner Awareness, & Moving Energy
• Brigid ~ The Lessons of Mythic Resonance & Bardic Magick
• The Morrigan ~ The Lessons of the Warrior Spirit & Healing from Trauma
• Athena ~ The Lessons of Peacemaking & Deep Wisdom
• Discordia ~ The Lessons of Celebration & Spontaneity
• Freya ~ The Lessons of Love & Women's Magic
• Sedna ~ The Lessons of Role-Shifting & Adaptation
• The Great Goddess ~ The Lesson of the Ultimate Boon

I will be facilitating the circles for Hestia and, yes of course, Athena. I am especially looking forward to Grandmother's circle, as we will be having an all-women's sweat lodge ceremony in Her honor. Also new this year we will be creating a Goddess quilt from 12x12 inch quilt blocks that each participant bring with her. We will assemble the quilt blocks on site.

I am proud to have brought this retreat into being, and I am nurtured and changed by it in ways I never imagined. Thank you for letting me share some of its magic with you, gentle reader.

Moody June

June has been a rewarding but exhausting month. I've been ill twice, and now that I am well I find myself combating a bout of depression. Meh.

For the fifth year in a row I've helped put on the Babalon Rising Festival, and, as always, I come away from it not know what to say about it. The event is excellent, even if I am blowing by own trumpet, and it gets bigger and more powerful every year. Babalon Rising is a festival primarily for Thelemites, although we have a large NeoPagan and New Orleans Voodoo component. The festival itself is designed to be a continuous four-day ritual, with its climax on Saturday night during an event we've named The Feast of the Beast. We've been working the festival annually as a trip up the Tree of Life, which made this our Tiphereth year. Accordingly, the sun came out in full force, and I spent much of the event with heat exhaustion. Good things prevailed, however. I assisted in facilitating a Qadishti sacred touch event, and served as one of the multiple women who invoked Babalon during the climatic ritual. I helped run, and eventually took over, our annual Kabbalah Bar event, which involves providing sepherotic themed body shots off of a living Tree of Life. The gifted and delightful Louis Martine led a wonderful ritual to help clear the Gulf of oil. I don't think I've ever heard a better drum circle than we had Saturday night.

I love Babalon Rising, but it is like my child who has grown and moved on to things I never knew it could be. I consider myself lucky to be its parent, and ready to support it in whatever way it needs me each year. But it does not nurture me. The magic it represents is in a place that I like to visit sometimes, but I do not live there anymore. I've become more solitary, and maybe even a little jaded in my own approach to magic. I'll always be a witch at heart, but I'm in a place right now where serving the Gods interests me far more than rituals, potions, and pretty magic. My sense of wonder rests firmly with the Gods these days, and less and less with my own Will or ego. This has less to do with personal growth, I think, than with sheer exhaustion. I am no longer the Mage in her circle commanding the universe to bend. I am trying harder to bend with the universe.

I helped Laurelei with an Aphrodisia ritual during the festival, and it was lovely. I find much that is beautiful and comforting to my spirit in Greek ritual and myth. I was the hydrophoros for the pompe, carrying my beloved Goddess amphora. Laurelei established a stunning shrine to Aphrodite on the Our Haven grounds and we held the ritual there.

The Arrephoria happened in June. It is one of Athena's most important festivals, and is usually a big deal in our household as it combines mysteries of both Athena and Aphrodite. Alas, I was very ill during the Arrephoria, and did little more than burn some incense in tribute this year. Athena understands my lack of observance, of course, but I've been internally berating myself over it all month. The whole truth is that I've been internally berating myself about everything this month. I've entered a depression, which is a classic and expected component of my being Bipolar I. My medicines do an excellent job of keeping me in a sane and acceptable middle range of mood and productivity, but even they cannot keep me from dipping a little low or flying a little too high ever now and again.

Depression for me is a lack of creative flow, a general sense of impending dread, and an urge to sleep around eighteen hours a day. You can see why I haven't blogged much this month. I haven't touched my manuscript either, nor my paints, nor yarn. Athena is understanding. Look at the famous relief "Athena Mourning" and you can see that sometimes her heart hangs heavy as well.

I've got you under my skin

I'm sure it's Pagan blogging protocol to have at least one post about your tattoos. If you don't have any tattoos then, obviously, you are not a True Pagan.(TM) I realized that I've neglected to mention anything about my body ink which I shall remedy now on pain of having my good Pagan blogger card membership revoked.

I've two tattoos, both with spiritual/religious significance. The first is a large blue celtic knotwork pentacle on my left shoulder in reference to my Witchcraft background. The second is a small red star of Babalon on my right ankle in honor of my work in Thelema and as a founder of the Babalon Rising festival. I've been slowly saving up for my next piece, which will be of an owl of the type found on the reverse of some Athenian drachma. This will be in deference to Athena and my own personal connection with owl as a totemic spirit.

I have plans for several more tattoos along my spine. Laurelei and I are considering matching Kallisti apples at our solar plexus. I am also considering a gorgon mask, a spider in a web, a labrys and a serpent spiral. All of these have connections to Athena, along with other personal symbolism. If you wonder why there are so many options in the "queue" while so few pieces have actually materialized, it is because I am very particular about getting a tattoo. I usually wait a minimum of three years after I've settled on a final design before I get the work done. I figure if I still like it and want it after three years time I can probably live with it being there forever.

I design some part of each of my tattoo artwork, and below is some flash of various designs that I currently have/will have/am considering.

Black Babalon

Kiss me you Fool
We are but a couple of cards
I AM the third sphere
You are falling from the Tower
Into my toothy black yoni
Scream My Name
I AM the serpent that you fear
And the garden and the tree and the fruit
Golden discordian apple and pomegranate
and Waratah Blossoms
And the Elohim sing as you Fall
Plead My Name
Let me see where you can shove that
Priapic wand my little novice
Love it in my bloodless brittle sagging
cauldron
I AM all you hate
Take it in your mouth and taste my red
power
Fear is a euphemism for me
Pain is a kindness of mine
Weep My Name
Sweet Prometheus bound
in your dogmatic strangle-hold
Know that I AM the fire from heaven that
you would die for
But darkness is my purest form
Love this face of fury
Understanding is the key
Answer my riddles
Or be devoured and commit yourself to
stone
As I dance drunk on the beauty of you
My Shiva-without
Worship My Name
I AM not your
Sister-mother-lover-whore
Sky with no moon
Drink-me-she
I AM

Reposted from MySpace blog September 23, 2008

Red Babalon

Mine the cup of crimson blood
that scarlet tips the upraised rood.
The rose, the serpent, and the sacred flame,
these are sigils of my name.
Speak them as you come to bed,
and through my veils you shall be lead
to mysteries sacred and profane
as into my cup your blood must drain.
May you dream no more of the world beyond
the golden cup of Babalon.

Reposted from MySpace blog September 24, 2008

Blue Babalon

V.I. I AM.
I, the nail upon which the stars are hung.
The nail which pierces the flesh of suns and sons.
Draining forth their blood into the cup.
Red with blood it is, yet I remain virgin
pure without spot.
Blameless.
Loved by all.
And my love is as a whore's:
open to all.
I deny my gifts to none.
Lowest leper and highest emperor
feel the softness of the pleasure of flesh
as ONE.
The sharpness of the sword with which I am girt
cuts gods and men deeply as equals.
For every man and woman is a star, and
by my blade there is no god but man.
I offer true Wisdom,
for I fly forth on dove's wings
I am wholly spirit.
And it is my kindest cut
that makes you whole, holy
hole, whore, harlot, scarlet
I am many and all and ONE.
Whole in myself
Virgin and eternal
I, the nail
V.I. I AM.

Reposted from MySpace blog September 29, 2008